It probably comes up in conversation atleast 8,763 times a day when you are a parent.
If you have a newborn and they are cranky: “She hasn’t pooped yet so that’s probably why she’s a small satan.”
If you have an infant and they just started eating food: “Oh my gosh I changed his diaper after he ate blueberries for the first time and I swear I have never seen a poop smurf colored before today!”
If you have a toddler who doesn’t have a shy bone in his body: “I just made the biggest poop in the potty ever!” (toddler tells to stranger in the stall next to us in public rest room).
And my favorite is if you have a husband: “I will, after I poop.”
I swear when Matt and I first started living together, he would do things just to push my buttons. Like take his little black socks off when he got home after work and fling them like little granades all across the living room. He would leave enough half drunk drinks next to his bed to stop any and all droughts in the world. But the thing that bugged me the most was when I would ask him to help with something and he would reply “I will, after I poop”.
At first, I thought that he must just be eating quite a bit of fiber, but then I caught on to the pattern. It used to make steam come out of my ears when I would ask him to hold the baby while I finished cleaning up dinner and I would get that stupid poop response.
Why can’t I just sit on the toilet for twenty minutes without interuption?
Why does he not get a toddler storming in the second he closes that door?
Why does this always happen when I need help with something?
But then I started asking myself why does it bug me so stinking much that he take twenty minutes to himself?
The fact of the matter is I was so hung up on those twenty mintues without him there and then I started to think about what if he wasn’t there at all.
What would I honestly do without him? What if he wasn’t in the picture at all let alone twenty mintues? How would I wake up and face the next day knowing that I would have to face the life I laid before me alone?
I know what you’re thinking. This is a lot to ponder just because someone went to the bathroom, but hey a lot goes through your mind in twenty minutes.
Simply, being a parent/spouse is just plain easier together. That means accepting each other for everything and anything. I am positive that Matt has a secret hate for the small village of decorative pillows I place on the bed everyday and he isn’t a fan of when I cook seafood in the house. But he looks at it as I am cooking seafood to feed our little family and he’s thankful I make the bed everyday.
Those little black socks he leaves all over my living room are there because he worked a really long day providing for his family. And to be completely honest I haven’t fully found the good in the million half filled glasses next to my bed- but maybe someday I will.
So next time your spouse gives the age old response “After I poop”; just smile, use those twenty minutes to think about how much they do for you, and remember that everyone poops.